Overview
At KWoA we don't have rules (which are often used for bludgeoning others), but rather agreements to which we mutually hold each other accountable. These agreements help us to form a strong, safe container that can hold the work we do.
Agreements
- Safety: I will be responsible for my own safety and & others', both on a physical & psychological level.
- Confidentiality: I can share freely any concepts and processes learned, as well as my own work, but I will not share or discuss anyone else's work with anyone who was not there to witness it.
- Right to Pass: I can pass on any process, either temporarily (in which case I'll be given a second opportunity to participate) or permanently.
- Be Punctual & Present: I will be on time and mentally "here."
- Ask Permission: I will ask before processing or touching another person. Sometimes permission is implied; however, each man retains the right to refuse unwanted facilitation or physical contact.
- No Shaming or Moralizing: I will avoid making shame statements about or applying my moral views to others in the circle. Instead, I will own these as my projections.
- No Advice: Advice is always about the advice giver. Advice is a projection, it risks robbing a man of the opportunity to discover his own truth, and it can also be a form of rescue.
- No Story: I will focus on what's really going on. I will not dance around the subject, rehash prior work, put on a show, or spend a long time getting to the point.
- No Rescue: I will permit others (and myself) to look at challenging subjects, experience strong emotions, and sit or leave in dissonance without interfering (ex: I won't touch a man, verbally comfort him, or hand him tissues when he's crying, except at his request).
- Speak Cleanly: I will adhere to the Language Lab guidelines.
- Shadow Watching: I will watch for Shadows (my own and others') that may be disrupting the circle, especially from leaders / facilitators, and call them out when I see them.
- Accountability: I will hold other's feet to the fire on these agreements and I agree to be similarly held accountable by the circle.